


Artwork called 'love'

by Testuro_yenzi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:07:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28360632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Testuro_yenzi/pseuds/Testuro_yenzi
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio & Reader, Suna Rintarou/Reader
Kudos: 3





	Artwork called 'love'

"..... It's not like that I would have had agreed to what happened..." as these words came out of my boozed out mouth, I was pretty sure my brain was much more shocked than my brother who holding me was.

I only have a vivid memory of what happened next; like me getting into Kūro's car and snuggling into the bed. Well, that's all.

I'm not sure what it was. The thing that happened almost like six years ago, where my fluttering conscience had just learned what it means to value someone in our lives was crushed just like a child's anticipation to visit the park with his dad just because he was busy with his work on Sunday too.

Was I a fool to know what he did was just merely my fault or was it just me who was too much pent up that trying to seal his warm embrace all to myself?. Well, I still don't know the answer

"Hey what's up are you done with your work??" Sugawara asked as he leans over my desk trying to look what I was sketching

"Yeah pretty much... It's the same thing I drew last time.. just giving some finishing touches" I reply as I doodle the rest of the things that was needed to be done.

"Are you alright?" He walks past the desk and walks across the bookshelf that were piled up to the right. Most of them really were just normal complilations of Japanese and British literature and some vollyball magazines.

I hummed in geture

"You know..." He takes out one of the vollyball magazine which had Kageyama featured in its front page "..... I look at my drawings sometimes after they get published I look at it ample of times checking if something is off or if the characters are too bold.. I even ask my peers to review it atleast thrice to know if they liked my work or not... But at the end of the day it's just them saying 'senpai it's good ' ectera ectera... but I come to you at last to ask if it is good or not..and you just review it as any other my manga readers.... Sometimes it does pisses me off when you give a cold statement but either way that's how you view it right?... I can't change that whether you like it or nor I can  change your perspective....... "

He closes the book as he keeps the book back to its place "I know even if I say something to you it will any other local advise that a councler would give but you know.... Some times things are like that and you can't change it... Even if you think you did a weird job but in other's perspective it's super awsome.... You can't change it... You just need to accpet it and move on"

He walks past my office and as he exists he looks back all he says was "that bookshelf does hold a lot of memories you cherish huh?"

_You gaze back to the book self wondering what Suga just said, yes, it did hold a lot of memories. Back then when you teased Kageyama for looking so grumpy and made sturdy face in the magazines, who knew you would preserve every magazine until now._

Am I even supposed to feel this way?.. even after I ran away that way? I don't know what it is but I do suppose that you don't even remember me by now I hope you don't cause that person who I was six years ago that wanted you.... and now I don't even want to render those feelings again...

.

It's a lovely night, Kūro is with me as always, I don't know why he insists on coming whenever I drink out. I would have had denied him to come but well we can't ignore a brother's sentiment.

"Y/n" someone calls out

I look back with booze still slightly lingering in my mouth, but I was fresh enough to talk back without stumbling. Kūro looked at me with a distant look at this face as he saw the person who had called me. I stretch out to see who was it. But the pedestrian was too busy today with people coming and going, I narrow my eyes to view who was the person that called me but I still don't know who was it

"Kūro who was it?" I say still streching my feet long enough to get the glimpse. He didn't answered.

I look at Kūro again, he was looking forward for the person to come where we were standing, for some reason it did felt strange for Kūro not reply but may be he was silent for the may be he knew what would happen next.

"Hey y/n long time no see?" A familiar voice that echoed my ears, the same familiar feelings which had made me once think that it was alright to be in one sided love. But even after all these years when I tamed myself to not to harm myself with the stupid artwork called love, yet there he stands all mighty calling my name.

I can't handle this. I can't. If I hear that voice again may be that love I once hoped would still welcome me with the same warmth I had in my heart till date. I didn't wanted to erase that feelings. I didn't wanted to delete that artwork. The artwork which I called my first love. 

"Sorry she isn't little boozed out today I don't think she will be able to respond" Kūro says to cover me up as I stand still not trying to face up Kageyama. Kūro speaks something about the vollyball with him. Trying to distract his attention from me but still it's not likely for Kageyema to give up. He tries to get my attention but before he did anything Kūro bolted out with me towards the car leaving kageyama confused on the busy street.

"You need to face him sooner or later y/n" Kūro says as he starts the engine "you know he will follow you up"

"As if I don't know" I said looking out of the car, because we all know Kageyama won't give up even if I tired to push him he will rise back and come around being more stronger.

I know I'm avoiding the situation right now. But I know as Kūro said I'll have to face him sooner or later.

.

"Y/n are you free right now?" Suga says peeking from the door

"Yup"

"Okay I'm coming in" I looked up as my grey haired senpai comes in with a rather weird look on his face

"What's up ?? Do you want to tell something" I look from the panel I was trying to finishing for the last two hours.

"Um.... I heard ..... Fromm.... Umm... Kuroo thattt and jsej kageyema.. here... Talk..."he shutters as he tried to convey the message.

"Senpai tell me the fuck you wanna say.. my head I already paining with yesterd-"

"Kageyama is here. He's says he wants to talk." He says and turns his back without saying anything "and I'm sending him in" he literally runs towards the door as he slams the door.

For the next few moments, I knew it's going to be last time I see him, the last time I look at him and I'm going to end it forever with him. Even we weren't together back in our high school days. I guess it was obvious for others to notice that I loved him, but the one I loved didn't.

I heard the clack as the door opened, I can't be scared is all that I thought. I can't let my feelings over take me. I can't. I look up from my desk as I heard the footsteps towards me. For all this time, I wonder the face I was so fond of, the voice that echoed my ears even when I was far away from him, I guess my love wasn't that weak that it would have had faded in the time span of six years. I can't say anything. Or more likely I'm not able to. How would have I stopped loving the person who is walking towards me.

"Are you right" he said in his deep voice looking at me with those tender eyes. Making me want to forget everything I was thinking earlier.

"Yeah" I said trying to clam and trying to keep the composure of myself as subtle as possible. I didn't wanted to look weird to him. Nor I wanted to look too proud to him. So I continue to look do my work as he stood there, I'm sure it was normal enough for me to act that way. Because I know there is nothing more than me being that way. I am not his friend. Yes, I know, that is what he had said to me.

He steps a little closer, and grabs the chair infornt and sits down and as he leans forth to peek over my work, "that work does seem to have been changed.." he said looking over.

I roll my eyes as I look away. I knew I didn't wanted this conversation to go long because even if he knew what I felt about him it will end up me getting hurt.

"Di-"

"Yes I went home safe don't worry about it. I was little boozed out but Kūro was with me all the way." I cut short.

I glanced at him, his face looked normal enough. He knew something was wrong and he knew it was from him but he still sat there.

I don't want to look at him.

" Can you please leave." I say

"Huh" he looked surprised

"Yes... If you have some little bit descency left then I please beg of you to leave"

"But why?" By now it looked like he was losing his calm which he had resolved by then. "Why are acting so cold.. it's unlike of you.... I tried to reach you after that way b-"

"Yess there you need to stop right there... Just shut the hell up OKAY!! Because of that day I don't want to see you face.. I don't want to look at your tender eyes.. I don't want to see you play volleyball... I don't want to see you smile.... JUST GET OF MY SIGHT" you trembled down saying this. You don't know where did it came from.

As tears rolled down, "I don't want to love you. I don't. I'm tired acting. I'm tried being alone. I'm tired being strong. I tired running away. I just don't wa-"

The door flung open as Suna came dashing towards you.  
(He heard you shouting from outside as both of you had decided to meet up at the bar and you didn't reached there so he came to check up)

"Hey hey you okay??" He embraces me within he warm and wide arms. Trying to sush me.

Kageyema looked down, "But you were my only friend that loved me that way. I always cherished you. But may be if y-"

"Just for God's sak-"

"NO LISTEN... LISTEN WHAT I HAVE TO SAY... I KNEW YOU LOVED ME.. BUT I LOVED HOU TOO.. BUT YOU RAN AWAY WITHOUT HEARING MY SIDE OF THE STORY... I loved you but it's too late now.. it's your fault for running away" Kageyama said

Suna held you like a little baby in a cradle he gets up with you his powerful arms and walks towards the exit

"Hey we were not finished here" kageyama shouted

"Then may be you should have finished it when it was necessary" Suna said as he walked outside.

He called out for Suga and asked him to me down. He stayed there until I was fresh enough to walk. Kūro had came by to check up on me. Every one whom I cherish was there, but Kageyama was never there. Even when I liked him back then he never really cared. May be I was foolish enough to love him and not realising what I was missing.

I looked around, Kūro sat at the couch checking his phone. Suga had gone to get us some take-away and Suna sat there holding my hand, not letting me go even for one second. His warmth was something else. Even though I have known him for last 2 years, everytime I was with him it made me forget everything for that time instance, it was like maybe he knew I was hiding something but yet he never asked me what it was. He never bothered me nor pestered me why I was cold so everyone else other than them.

May be he just knew.

May be my definition of love that was set years ago was on just an assumption on being on one sided love or rather an untamed admiration for Kageyama.

May the love I see right now, it the definition of the love that I was yet to find, up until the years I have been thinking of the love that was stupid sense of artwork that was drawn only in one corner the whole canvas that was yet to utilize.

"Hey are you alright?" Suna holds my hand as he walks beside me.

May be this is what love means, there isn't just one place in tht whole canvas for us to draw, the whole canvas is free for us to fill our imagination into it.

May be if I had known this before,

May be if it was just not one side,

May be if.....

"Yess I'm alright Suna" I smiled at him, he blushes as he holds my hands little tighter.

Someone held my hands a little tighter now. And now I fe like I wouldn't have had been called my love "stupid".  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
